Giovanni Ribisi had a recurring role on the classic/stupid sitcom My Two Dads (billed as Vonni Ribisi for style purposes, one assumes).
About the Birds
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05/22/2012
Pointless Facts with The Madame: Looking Good, Girl
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05/21/2012
The Mockingbird Way To Insult Someone Is . . .
. . . by throwing the book at them. I'm not talking about handing down a lengthy sentence in the pokey. (As our motto indicates, we don't judge, we just mock. Also, I have not been appointed to the bench. [Editor's note: Yet.]) I'm talking about literally throwing a literal book at the target of one's ridicule. And the book has to be the dictionary. It's likely that the he or she who receives a good mocking from a 'Bird (HA!) will need assistance deciphering the insults that have been thrown at them (PUNS!). Perhaps it is adding injury to insult (or insult to injury depending on your view) but I think we can all agree that people respond better when heavy objects are thrown at their heads.
Baroness von Jeer
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05/18/2012
Weekend Kiss Off: Dim the Lights
The incomparable Donna Summer died yesterday at the age of 63. She was beautiful and talented and we plan on spending the weekend listening to her songs on repeat, wearing caftans and fabulous hoop earrings. Yes, that's like every weekend, but this time we're doing it with sadness and out of respect.
We feel love,
The Mockingbirds
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Mockingbird Movie Guide: What to Expect When You're Lobotomized
There is no mystical American Indian to free you either. And you have not been committed against your will, humans; this is what we all deserve for watching things like the Real Housetrolls of Lower San Diego and Dancing with the Never Were and acting like Twilight is literature. This slate of flicks? That is our fate, America. For every one Whedony delight we get thirty based-on-a-boardgame movies. We are being punished and I for one am accepting it, at least for a little while. What to expect when I’m accepting? A feeling of crushing defeat and some mild discomfort in my lower back.
I’ve digressed in an effort to stave off the madness. I failed. What to expect when you’re a failure.
SEE: You’re On Your Own
No, that’s not an actual movie, it’s just me being a little bitchy and a lot lazy. What to expect when I’m broken. I really did look into this week’s new releases quite diligently, but I failed to find one that I could really recommend in good faith. While there is much value in exploring the misconceptions behind female sexuality, it appears that Hysteria is not up to the task, at least with regards to execution. And I myself have much respect for the talents of Sacha Baron Cohen and his efforts to expose the existence and acceptance of anti-Semitism and misogyny, but The Dictator doesn't seem to stay on the satirical point. So, that’s what it is. Go see a play? Or re-watch Firefly or something, like The Countess. We all want to be like The Countess. (Even when I'm down I can still make jokes!)
RENT: The Great Dictator
In extension of my comments regarding Mr. Cohen (what to expect when I’m loquacious), I admire his desire to pay homage to or bring back the classics of comedy, but again, that movie seems to have failed in that regard. This is a shame seeing as most comedies these days are of the Adam Sandler’s getting paid variety and/or trade in cheap gags and crassness in lieu of ingenuity and character-based humor. There is a remedy, and that would be watching The Great Dictator, a classic of comedy and satire containing one of the finest and funniest scenes ever put to film. I would now like to apologize for never putting it up on the blog. What to expect when I’m not quite myself.
SKIP: What to Expect When You’re Living Out the First Scene in Idiocracy
This movie was cast off the “Celebrities Who are Forever Mockable” list we keep here at Casa Mockingbird. It was based off some sort of pregnancy guide book, which I’m sure was written with the cinematic, visual and dramatic in mind. (Does no one remember the crash and burn that was Shit My Dad Says?) It’s not funny, it’s not sweet, it’s not intelligent, it’s doesn’t feature Chris Evans, so skip it, future leaders of America. What to expect when I’m being sarcastic.
THE REST: Landry and Riggins together again!...some sort of trippy sci fi indie…a new film from one of the Blair Witch dudes…a drama set in a juvenile detention center…a limited release of a smart suspense film…quirky indie shit yippee…a hot, hot mess…a meditation on masculinity oh wow so necessary and innovative kill me.
This post is what one should expect when I have alcohol poisoning.
Madame Taunt
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05/16/2012
The Stupidest Thing I Read Last Week: Are Employee Meltdowns Subsidized?
"The perfect boyfriend? Or a sociopath?"
I found that quote in an article which purportedly helps one ascertain whether or not the person he or she is dating has sociopathic tendencies. With this one, I don't even know where to start or in what direction to take it. I am meant to read this and understand that people can't tell the difference between a loving life partner and Michael Myers? Shouldn't the classic warning signs of sociopathy described in the article like lying, emotional manipulation, and predatory stares be enough of a deterrent in general? Is this additional "they may be a sociopath" tip necessary to assist one in their decision-making process?
What I am taking away from all this is that I live in a world where people a) are desperate enough to date sociopaths, b) probably don't know it, and c) may be empowered to leave this person who is potentially criminally insane by an article found on Yahoo! Shine. Fantastic. I suppose I am expected to treat these people with respect or something as well. Not likely. Look, if your boyfriend is overly possessive and fixes his gaze on you in a manner resembling the Green River Killer, sorry, but I am unable to relate. On any level. Leave me out of the human race if this level of idiocy, self-absorption and patheticness is an integral part of membership. And why should I have to even explain myself? I am clearly not the problem here. It is you, people who need this sort of counseling. YOU. YOOUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-Baroness von Jeer
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05/15/2012
Pointless Facts with The Madame: No Shout Out to the Shoulder Pads Though
Ozzy Osbourne wrote and performed a song about television's greatest defense lawyer, Perry Mason.
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05/14/2012
The Mockingbird Way To Insult Someone Is...
...with a bag of dicks. Because it is a totally appropriate response to someone who is an idiot, not with the flock, and/or dating a Kardashian. And for the asshole who just cut you off on the freeway.
Dame Derision
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Words to Live By: Another Reason Why It Sucks
"Die, v.: To stop sinning suddenly."
-Elbert Hubbard
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