It's almost Spring and Hollywood has decided to show some life this weekend. It's my turn to take time out of The 'Birds' busy schedule of heavy data analysis, righting wrongs and marrying, fucking and killing our way through the male population. Or what is more commonly known as just another Friday night at the Castille vonMocken. Cabana Boy Kevin has so kindly provided me with a fine array of cocktails and various forms of self-medication, so let's rock out with our mocks out*.
SEE: Jeff, Who Lives At Home
I'm giving this one a chance simply because the Duplass brothers sincerely impressed me in 2010 by making Jonah Hill not annoying in the very underrated Cyrus. That being said, I'm hoping they can do the same with Jason Segel. Ed Helms has proven himself a great comedian back from his Daily Show days and more recent bromantic comedies, but I think there just may be a full-on actor in there who can is ready and willing to show us some more serious stuff. That is the mark of a well-rounded actor that you don't see very often. And surely it beats having to go see this, at the very least.
SKIP: 21 Jump Street
I have 8 words for you: Johnny Depp. Peter DeLuise. Dustin Nguyen. Holly Robinson. I cannot abide another attmept at a remake/crossover/flashback/comedy/action monstrosity. And then you throw some no-neck hick and Jonah "That Was The Only Time I'll Ever Be Nominated For An Oscar" Hill in there and I'm supposed to be swooning? I'm going to need more self-medication and maybe I'll give it a chance when it comes into rotation on a movie network next year.
RENT: The Maltese Falcon
One of my favorite Bogart films, it also happens to be the beginning of John Huston's amazing directing career, and also considered the very first film noir. The last time this was on TCM, they mentioned that it was one of Bogey's personal favorites, and it's easy to see why. The story mines the bountiful talents of Humphrey as it is also a chance for Peter Lorre to shine yet again. It's a beautifully shot, tightly written, very skilled movie that can hold its own against just about anything you were considering renting. What sucks is that I couldn't find the scene that I really wanted to put here, which occurs just after this one. It's a fantastically-written bit where he has to explain to Mary Astor that although he may love her he will still have to turn her in to the police. It's not only his reasoning that hooks you, it's his unique delivery that just reels you right in. It's a shame it's not below, but it's a great motivating factor to go get it. You'll thank me as soon as those hundred minutes have elapsed.
When you get slapped, you're gonna take it and like it,
Dame Derision
*yes, I'm tipsy already, so forgive that awuful, awwefewl...awful opening transition.


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