We have been alluding to it for weeks now, creating a sense of doom but also perhaps a little excitement, that perverse thrill that comes from watching storm clouds gather on the horizon as the tornado warning is announced on the news: its Oscar season. We’re still in watch mode at the moment, but it’s never too early to stock up on supplies: skepticism, cynicism, actual taste, insider lingo, disdain, booze, and snacks. Those last two are key as we will need our strength to get through the piles of glossy and glittery pieces of cinema that have been dolled up, packaged and campaigned within an inch of their lives and to also deal with our surprise when we find a truly excellent film. Yes, they’re in there, because the world is a crazy place. (Somebody oughta sell tickets, a wise man once said. In a movie.)
Okay then.
SEE: Monsieur Lazhar
This film tells the story of an Algerian immigrant in Montreal who is hired as an elementary school teacher under tragic circumstances, and did well in festivals and is now nominated for the Best Foreign Film Oscar. It’s in French, which adds that high art sheen, but it is also touching, funny and heartbreaking, so ultimately it is a more visceral experience as opposed to a coldly intellectual one like some art house films can be. (A Metallica-obsessed chick who’s usually fairly cold-hearted herself and who is also writing this may have teared up at the trailer. Perhaps.) If you are not in the mood to have your heart torn out or to read, you can always go see The Grey which is a movie about Liam Neeson fighting wolves. I am recommending this movie simply because I wanted to type “Liam Neeson fighting wolves” and I also must confess that if ever I were kidnapped or lost in the wilderness I would for sure call Liam Neeson, who is now a legitimate action star as well as a respected actor. He may not be abe to save me in real life, but it would be nice to meet him nonetheless. Plus, he’s tall.
RENT/FIND: The Artist
I took a quick trip through past Mockingbird Movie Guide glories, and I didn’t see a recommendation for this film. Apologies. Feel free to dismiss this film as brazenly populist but I would argue that is precisely the point. A movie about the importance of the medium and how much it means not just to the artists but also the audience should be a crowd-pleaser; it should also be inspiring and sad and have John Goodman and tap dancing. We can thank the French for this as well, which may explain why the film is so beautiful and expertly crafted, almost as beautiful and expertly crafted as Notorious, one the best films of all time and also one of my favorites, a film that is out on Blu Ray now, a fact THAT NO ONE TOLD ME. I will remember that.
SKIP: One for the Money
Perhaps your punishment should be watching this pile of toe nail clippings masquerading as a movie- that will teach you to not cater to my every whim and taste. Now, I am not as big a Heigl Hater as a good portion of the population is, but I definitely have little respect for her as an actress. Her skills are marginal (less than marginal if her wavering Jersey accent in the trailer is any indication) and her looks are merely fine, but the real problem is her refusal to make a good decision when it comes to her career. "Am I universally hated? Yes? Well then I’ll do a movie with Ashton Kutcher!" That is not the right choice. That is the wrong choice, regardless of the salary. And that was just one choice in a string of misguided and ridiculous career moves culminating in this mediocre comedy of bad hair and being handcuffed naked but at least that’s never been in a movie before, right? In conclusion, I really don’t want to have to write about this chick again except if I get inspired to compose a rant about her Golden Girl hair and how I would like to start a fund to pay Tilda Swinton to give her some styling tips. Stay tuned for that goodness.
I am so not on point. I think I'm still mad about the Notorious thing. Or I'm still obsessing over Ms. Swinton's hair. Anyway.
THE REST: A Holocaust drama….a movie that is what its title says it is….Glenn Close in drag…we need to talk about Tilda Swinton and her hair some more…a French drama about cancer.
This is just the beginning,
Madame Taunt
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