Hello, welcome to summer, where the livin’s easy, especially when one has the Mockingbird Movie Guide, where the week’s releases are broken down by Dame Detroit and me, Madame M…Los Angeles. You’re stuck with the latter at the moment, and I’m staring at a list of movies that only inspires a “What the fuck”- not in the “Huh?” sense but in the Ray Ban wearing, mega watt smile flashing sense. Saying it gives you freedom, and freedom gives you opportunity, the opportunity to see something unexpected in the theaters, a rarity in the summer months.
Or you could just dance around the house in your underwear instead, whatever.
SEE: Wherever your whim takes you
Do a little searching, a little wandering and seek out something different. There’s Wes Anderson’s Moonrise Kingdom, which is by all accounts well acted, enchanting and beautiful in that Wes Anderson way. There’s always something heartbreaking or funny or weird or all three in his films that will stick with you, even if his tone is a little twee and the look a little stylized for some tastes. Pair it with the offbeat horror film from Australia called The Loved Ones and you have a potentially mind-expanding situation. Any movie whose plot involves lobotomies and the prom has to be an experience, so go out and get some experience. Just be mindful of where you park your dad’s Porsche.
RENT: The Alien Quadrilogy
Where do we come from? Are we alone? Is there a god? Is quadrilogy a word? Find all of the answers in the Alien Quadrilogy aka the Alien Anthology aka a bunch of classic films in a fantastic and influential franchise. You get to see the original psychosexual sci fi classic that started it all (and introduced the world to the magnificent Sigourney Weaver- see below), the most quotable movie of all time, the beginning of David Fincher’s feature film career, and a Whedon-penned flick that features Winona Ryder as an android. You’ll also be preparing to enjoy next week’s Prometheus, or maybe reliving the past glories of this franchise in case that movie sucks. Either way you're set. I deal in human fulfillment.
SKIP: Snow White and the Huntsman
See Theron in Young Adult, see Hemsworth in Thor and/or The Avengers, see Nick Frost in the best movie ever, see Stewart in a Lifetime movie in two years and skip this overly CGI-ed, tired interpretation of a fairy tale that is only marginally interesting and also slightly offensive to begin with. This pimp of a movie will steal all the happy memories you may have of the Disney version or at least leave you feeling cheated and bored.
THE REST: Andy Garcia is the best, but this is not…the Buried dude brings you another horror film…some sort of dance troupe extravaganza thing…FREE VING RHAMES…it’s a pun, y’all.
This post was accepted by the University of Illinois.
Madame Taunt

